Don’t Seek Happiness. Let It Seek You.

Pursuing happiness is a lofty goal. One that isn’t impossible to achieve but a lofty one nonetheless.

Like all emotions happiness is transitory and to be too fixated on attaining it is a waste of our short life span. Why then people pursue it like that’s the highest possible purpose of our existence? Is it the result of acceptance of the notion that life is suffering?

If that is the case then the whole pursuit of happiness is nothing but to escape from the depths of despair which is equivalent to not living or in other words- dying.

To give you an example, consider me as a Meth addict. Meth is a serious drug of abuse, highly addictive and could well damage your brain. When consumed this drug generates a pleasurable sense of well-being or euphoria aka happiness (as we describe it). But when the drug’s affects wears off, I am faced with reality.

Now if I perceive my reality as suffering or has a more nihilistic worldview, (which would be quite obvious given the fact that I tried escaping it in the first place), I would be consumed by negative emotions. I would start to lose it showing all the drug withdrawal symptoms that is both behaviorally and psychologically ugly. To avoid this, I would then break bad again.

As you can see, pursuing happiness this way is extremely detrimental. This is just a hypothetical example but you probably do this everyday in your life. Impulsive shopping, binge watching shows after shows, eating unhealthy meals, obsessively using social media etc. all of which gives you some dose of dopamine (the feel-good hormone), and if you indulge in such activities long enough, your brain starts to constantly crave it.

And if there’s an abrupt stop of such activities and you have nothing worthwhile to do, life can seem pretty much…

Pointless.

So what happens then? The default state reruns. The cycle continues.

Modern day concept of happiness

We have come to associate “feeling good” with being happy.
For those incapable of physiological investigation into their own psyche, this is the ultimate form of happiness — to associate happiness with pursuits of pleasure and avoidance of pain.

In this scenario, one has to constantly keep chasing thrills after thrills. That’s a huge shift from Aristotle’s definition of Happiness as “being good” to modern day definition i.e. “feeling good”. But that’s the idea of happiness pop culture advocates and it’s gonna be here for a while until our culture breeds more independent thinkers.

People don’t pursue happiness.

Here’s what I found while researching “why people pursue happiness”

A vast majority us talk about happiness but does not necessarily even think of pursuing it. And here’s why-

To be concerned about happiness is a luxury. It only happens when everything else is taken care of. To care about happiness in a really sustained, neurotic way is on one level a sign of our prosperity.

McMahon

However there’s an alternative reason to why I think that not just me, but millennials, our generation as a whole is obsessed with the idea of happiness.

1. Over the year, mankind has built a safe and secure environment. Our basic needs are met and since it is certain that we wont get attacked by a wild animal in the comfort of our homes unlike our ancestors, we are privileged with security and have been given time for our thoughts.

2. Declining religious belief. This has given birth to more independent thinkers trying to make sense of the world based on their own observation and experiences.

Considering we are privileged to be given the chance to think about happiness, it is safe to assume that our basic needs (physiological, safety, love and esteem) have been met (at least to some degree) more than the previous generation’s.

Thinking about happiness is easy but to actually pursue it, taking into consideration the complexity of human needs and desires, is a lifelong hurdle.

Pursuing happiness yields unhappiness

Not very surprisingly, even if you choose to investigate such matters deeply and thoroughly, you wouldn’t get a definite answer. To actively strive to be happy will only emphasize it’s absence from your life.

Happiness, especially with people’s tendency to define it as some goal or a vague dream, is not something you can pursue, but more of something which you generate within.

Now, here’s what you can do to generate happiness within-

• find time for something that you enjoy creating (irregardless of whether it pays the bills or not). This will help safeguard your sanity.
• learn to find joy in the ordinary. If you don’t appreciate life, it’s impossible to make anything out of it.

And most importantly, like Seneca would say-

As long as you live keep learning how to live.

If you ever find yourself questioning and seeking happiness, think of what you are willing to suffer for & prepare yourself for the sacrifices you ought to make to live life on your own terms.

Life is a process and although things never seem to get any easier you sure become stronger and well equipped to tackle the problems it throws at you.

Originally published at http://yuranamchoom.com on March 22, 2020.